Love, Sacrifice, and Border-Line Abuse

You may be wondering to whom I am referring when I use a word as strong as abuse...ME and every teacher that has stepped foot in a classroom to sacrifice his/her time to educate the youth of America.  There are certain individuals in the world who truly know what I'm talking about when I say teachers are tired, but most of America has no clue.  I'm done hearing that "but you get summers off" crap (excuse my frankness).  If I didn't get summers off then I wouldn't be able to effectively teach our children or live a normal life without going crazy.

I'm tired of being completely disrespected, cut off and cursed out by a 13 year old who then turns around and asks me for help on an assignment ten minutes later.  And guess what???  I help them..I want to kick them in the throat, but I help them.  Someone please feel my pain.  It is so humbling and such a lesson about this life NOT revolving around you when you must serve those who don't appreciate you.  Today my team of teachers and I told a kid that we cared about her and all she could ask us is why...

I told her that I had no clue because the way she was acting, I just wanted to wash my hands and be done! 

I wish I didn't have to care, but at the end of the day I know that I'm going to do whatever possible to help these children.  I'm tired of hearing my students talk about who is now pregnant and how her mom is "tripping" because she is mad about it.  I'm tired of students coming in with doctor's notes because they have a STD and had to be out for a few days.  I'm tired of 14 year olds walking around and acting like they are married in the hallways...doing things that my husband and I don't even do...and don't get me started on what goes on in the bathrooms.

How can I put my kids in a system like this?  How can I equip them to be leaders and not followers?  How can I know that what I'm telling them is really sinking in and they won't be living an infectiously poisonous life?  I don't know and I don't have the answers to my questions.  I don't know if anyone does.  I don't, but I have faith in who does and He is already making the arrangements...

Hero Husband [Poem]

Hero Husband


Leader: a person who rules, guides, or inspires others

to be great and to see their identity,
as they bask in the amenities of a man led
by something greater than words that men said.
Not a life steered by death,
but a life steered by breath
that was blown from the lips of El Shaddai.
Now walking uprightly is his reply
and his rely on love is constant and stable,
no longer consumed by types or labels.
A man whose fidelity to his master is known
and whose actions are unaltered in a crowd or alone.



A leader, a lover, a safe haven, a friend,
who’s respected;
a mere husband his roles transcend.
A fighter, believer, a warrior of life;
the backbone of his peers, his family and his wife.

So...I have been slapped in the face by reality...

So...I have been slapped in the face by a reality today...one that I have not ignored, but simply just forgot about. I'm writing this so that all of you other women out there that take care of a million things a day, have very little time for yourself already, and are already pushed to the limit in the key areas of your life can add ONE more thing to your plate...

Be a mom, sister, and/or friend to a young woman.

There is a need in our society for female fellowship. The world says that women are NOT supposed to be friends...instead we are supposed to compete. We want to know who is the sexiest, prettiest, finest, most intellectual, most accomplished, etc... This is a lie and we have taken in large spoonfuls of crap that separate, isolate and ultimately dislocate us from our purposes in this life.

Now I'm not talking about some feminist walk all over everybody and burn our bras (because somehow they are the symbol of man's conventional oppression) mentality. Instead I'm talking about a connection, one that has been overlooked yet longed for since human beings roamed this earth.

Perspective is the key to taking time out for another woman in your life. If you look at it as just one more thing to do, then that will be exactly what it is, but if you genuinely work to start a relationship, one that brings you joy, it will turn out to be exactly what you needed.

Outside Looking In...

I have a lot of labels. I have become more and more aware of them as time has passed, bills become due, family calls, children cry, and job demands. It is an amazing and exhausting thing to not live for yourself. Instead I live for everything and everyone and think about my needs later. When does later come...you may wonder...WELL, so do I. I have no clue when later comes.

Please don't get discouraged because by no means am I trying to discourage you or pollute your view on the future. There is a beauty to it, a maturity that it brings. Not living for yourself has a way working out your problems. For example, if I feel fat, I forget about it the next time I have to make lunch for my son. If I remember that I haven't had a pedicure since the New Testament was written, I forget about it the next time I have to grade papers for 150 9th graders that think I'm old at the ripe age of 27.

Even though it may sound like I'm complaining...ok maybe I am a little...I really do love my life. How boring and pitiful would it be to just have me to focus on all day long. I've lived with myself for 27 years and, sure there are things I want to do for myself, but ultimately I know those things will go towards the good of my family and friends...the people that love me and the people that I love.

So to sum up...I need more time for myself, but not at the expense of those who rightfully count on me and hopefully as I better myself, I will better their lives as well.